Sunday, 16 September 2012

Conspiracy Theory: The mystical world of Unicorns, Faeries, Trolls and AIMBOT (a video game rant)

We are going to take a mystical journey into the dark depths of the eerie and magical world of PWNing No0bs on PS3 (and XBOX). It is a land of magical powers where fairies and unicorns live. And I'm not talking about a fantasy game either. I'm talking about online shooters like COD and Red Dead Redemption, where the presence of the all powerful AIMBOT is a scourge upon the masses, and those that wield the almighty and magical MODDED CONTROLLER or LAG SWITCH have the ability to control the internet connection speeds of the world with the mere twitch of a bitch's witch's nose and fire bullets from their arse.

Here, the term Unicorn is a euphemism for dickhead, a Troll is a troll, and a Faerie is somebody who pisses and moans about being shot in the face because they suck. I want to be clear right here at the get go; PROVE ME WRONG. The operative word here being prove. I need proof in order to be swayed to believe in anything different. Show me links with factual information. Explain to me the technical specifications required to achieve such wondery. I don't believe in Faeries and Unicorns, so until you show me the corpse of one you can be a dickhead and piss and moan until you are blue in the face. It doesn't make it real.

I am not trying to insult you, dear reader. This whole debacle just gets me so frustrated. I merely am pointing out that many, many people have argued with me in the past and have yet been unable to provide me with one shred of evidence. I don't care if your 'cousin said he can do it'. All that proves to me is that either you or your cousin, or both, are full of shit.

So, let's dig a little deeper shall we? Instead of just ranting and dismissing what I don't believe, I'll use my uncanny talent of nerdiness to explore what actually is possible. I'll even explain the evidence. Let us begin with the modded controller, what it is, and what it can and can not do...

Let's say you are playing a certain shooter. In order to aim you hold L1, and to fire you tap R2 as fast as  you can to empty your clip into some no0bs head. You might even crouch while you are doing it to make yourself harder to hit in your enemies retaliation fire. A modded controller can be preconfigured to do all these things at once, with one button, and holding it down; the controller sends the input to the console as if you were tapping it at an increased rate (rapid fire). That's it. The manufacturers of such devices usually have preconfigured settings for certain popular games to make your man fire 25 times per second. Some even have a jiggle mode to make you harder to hit, which would be the equivalent of wriggling your finger around the thumb stick really fast. It is very important to keep in mind that these abilities are limited to the confines of what the game is actually capable of. The gun will only fire as fast as the physical limits written into the programming allow. That is the be all and end all of a modded controller. Something such as auto-aim, in regards to the ability of a modded controller, is literally only going to work if the game has some sort of auto-aim already programmed in. If you press L1 to lock on and R2 to fire, a modded controller can be set up so that when you press R2, it sends the message that you are hitting L1+R2+R2+R2+R2 etc. That is all a modded controller can do. 

These are the facts. The general consensus though, is that a modded controller gives one the ability to score a headshot with each and every bullet, as if they were Neo breaking the barriers of the Matrix and bending the game to their will. If one had such power, why the fuck would they be playing a video game and not stealing billions of dollars from the Fed or bombing your house with the United States Military's weapons from their mobile phone?

Oh, so it's not the modded controller allowing them to get head shots you say? It's the other type of aimbot...

It may be the case that such a thing exists in the world of PC gaming. In order to achieve it one would need to deconstruct the source code of a game, figure out a lot of programming code, and alter said code with a script to automatically lock on to the heads of other players. I will not refute the possibility of this, and in fact I am aware that a lot of online Steam servers have checks in place to try to ensure that this sort of thing does not happen. The task would be long and arduous and probably more hard work than it's worth, it is in theory possible. However...

We are talking about console gaming. This would imply, not only being able to deconstruct the source code of a game like on PC, but you would also need to hack both the protective encryption of the game disk itself and the console. I am aware there are jailbreak Flash/USB's and custom firmwares available that allow you to add movie playing codec abilities and emulation such as SNES or Linux for PS3 and homebrew games. I am an avid Linux user and tech enthusiast and I love tinkering with devices to get more of my money's worth for the hardware I have bought. I don't hack my PS3 because the detection of altered firmware bans you from PSN. If you can argue that a jailbroken PS3 can still get on PSN then I still want you to tell me where and how exactly you found and applied a script or hack that gave your game the ability to auto aim. I searched the shit out of the internet to find such a thing for research for this post. Go look for yourself. This shit does not exist. Period. Prove me wrong, PLEASE! WITH EVIDENCE!!

So let us now explore another possibility. The guy that got Public Enemy on your ass in Red Dead Redemption Hardcore Free Roam, whilst on the back of a horse using a LeMat revolver, may just be neither mystical nor magical. He didn't fire a hundred bullets in a second, he fired three, coincidentally the exact amount of shots it takes to kill someone. The Springfield rifle's aim was true and got you in the head, killing you with one bullet... he must be a hacker, with aim-bot and a modded controller. But wait, he wasn't riding a Unicorn... because these things don't exist. Maybe we just all need to stop being Faeries and respect that the guy is just good.

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